How to avoid some arguments with your child. – Part 2
Homework time, bathing time, or brushing your teeth can be more difficult than they should be at home.
How can you make them pleasant?
Turn these moments into games or simply offer choices to your child.
For example: if your child does not want to brush their teeth or bathe; give them the choice: do you prefer brushing your teeth or taking a bath first? He will choose what he wants to do. As a result, he will think that he decides, but in fact, you will have him do exactly what you want.
Get out some little games for the bath. Give him a moment to play; you leave him for 5 minutes while he is washing himself. You must warn him a little in advance before his time is up. As a result, he can already mentally prepare for the end to come and agree on the second part of the deal.
When he is brushing his teeth, you can brush your teeth at the same time and make it into a game: the one with the biggest smile at the end, the one with the most beautiful mustache of toothpaste. Otherwise, you can have fun learning the names of teeth or have fun counting them. If you explain to him why it is important to brush your teeth and show him the example, there will be a strong possibility that he wants to brush his teeth. Put the odds on your side.
– Speak slowly and think about what you will say
– Follow through with consequences. Sometimes when we are emotional, we mention consequences that can be difficult to follow through on: you will be forbidden from watching television for 1 month, you will not be able to see your friends for 2 weeks, you are grounded for the next month. Before you say anything, turn your tongue a few times or think about it, because you will have to RESPECT what you SAY.
– Logical consequences related to the event and it is better that they are close to the event because if they are too far away, the child will forget why this consequence happened in the first place.
Examples: if the child spills his glass of water = make him pick up, if the child draws on the wall = make him washes it off, if the child throws a tantrum in the store = ask him once to stop otherwise you will leave and you will not bring him to the store next time . He will understand that this is not the right choice next time.
Talk to him about his behavior. Knowing why the child is throwing a tantrum means our intervention will be simpler and we can work with him on this point. Show him how to react next time: speak with words and explain to him why it is important to avoid causing trouble in stores.
You have to prepare your child to visit public places. You have to explain to him how to be, why you have to act in one way rather than another, why they cannot buy everything, show them the value of money, give them missions during your outings: someone keeps the grocery list, another pays at the checkout, someone looks for broccoli, etc.
This way of doing things is good for any store.
If your child does not want to stop playing, tell him that the next time he wants to play he will not be able to because he is not able to respect the being able to stop when it’s time. Even before he starts playing, you have to tell him the time he has and as mentioned before, you have to warn him a little before the time is up. If he does not want to, it is important to mention to him the consequence that he will have if he does not wish to cooperate. It will be necessary to follow through on the consequence if the child does not do it.
If your child returns later than expected: you ask him why and you tell him that next time you want him to call you if he thinks he will come back later. You tell him why this is important to you and that the next time he does not respect the said time, you will not be able to trust him anymore, so the curfew will be sooner. Maybe insist that you will have to pick him/her up in front of his friends.
We must show and tell our children our expectations even before the situation arises. Make him/her repeat our expectations and why it’s important to respect them.
– Trust your child
– Show him the limits. If children are clear about your expectations and know that you respect what you say, the arguments will be much less frequent.
– Children observe you and know many of your weak points. They will test your limits. If you fold once, they will know how to do it in the future in the same kind of circumstances.
– Stay consistent!
– You have to make the little moments enjoyable and have fun with them.
Kids love being read stories. Give them the pleasure of choosing one and tell it to them before they go to bed. It will be a beautiful moment and they will be eager to go to bed. If you do not have a book at home, children always have access to the library during school hours. You can ask one of your children to bring his/her book home. If not, you can go to the municipal library after school and you can go borrow books together. This will make an activity. Otherwise, the internet is full of stories for children.
There is the possibility to invent stories and let him/her invent them too. Let your imagination go!
To be continued…
Thanks for reading. A pleasure!